Day 1

Hello,

As much as i dislike Mrs.Dalloway by Virginia Woolf, well I suppose that is not a fair assessment since I have only read 30 pages. Anyway I relate to the idea of a moment in time, a day in the life, i get it. Or i feel that I do. So why not run with it. For all intents and purposes I am fake and real. Some names in this blog will be changed some won't. I hope I keep writing, i tend to get bored with everything and everyone at some point. And it is getting harder and harder for me to hide it. I could hide my feelings so well when I was young. I need to get that back. Wouldn't it be funny if this was turned into a book or novel or something. Speaking of novels I will be writing one very soon. It will be about my grandmother. I miss her, I could feel myself hug her the other day. A few months ago she told me something but I cannot remember what it was. It had something to do with Richard. Oh Richard, I hope he still loves me. I don't love him like I did,or do. I'm not sure. But if he would keep loving me that would be great. He was my best friend and still is in some ways. I hate breaking his heart but I cannot deal with him most times. When he is funny and sweet and sarcastic and terrible I can never remember what childish or cruel or stupid thing he did before. I would say I forgive to easily but I don't, i simply forget. Unless the transgression is imprinted in my mind I will forget it. Don't let something bigger happen, it will be gone forever. but then in the midst of an argument 15 minutes into the conversation i will remember and yell at you for it. That is ONLY if it is something that has angered me. if you have hurt my feelings i can feel it like a coil wrapped around my heart and that will not go away will not be forgotten or forgiven until that coil is unraveled. for me to hate Mrs.Dalloway i sure have a stream of conscience going here.

goodbye