Day 3

Hello Dahling!
I had a photoshoot today. I am an aspiring model! I want to change people's lives through fashion and my amazing poses. Hahaha. Really I just like to take pictures.The shoot was from 8-11 which was interesting because I have not woken up before 10 sine the 10th grade. So that was quite the experience. Now I am sitting in the library chillin, thinking about richard, i almost just called him my love. wow. tonight i'm getting drunk,wasted,all that and theen richard is picking me up in the morning for a bed and breakfast (at his place lol) we r going to spend the day together and then go see Jay-Z. I'm EXCITED. SO lets talk about Richard, I don;t know how I feel about this man. He was terrible when we were together. But i am so comfortable with him, so safe, and I do have feelings for him. He is alluring now, he has a car a place and money out of his ass. I love the way he smells so good, and how he can be in bed. I am bossy spoiled and probably a little bratty in everyday life. I have a good reputation and I'm and quite the lady. But I do love whe  he takes control. when he holds my arms over my head and kisses me or trails his tounge down my body. I'm getting chills now. I can't wait for tomorrow. I am being told I am using him. He buys me things, we have sex, we talk all the time. To me it is best friends with many benefits. But I know he loves me. He wants to marry me. I don't know how much I am opposed to that. But right now? I'm 19. I want to play! Is it using if he gets what he wnts and me the same. He wants to hold me I want him to hold me. Its a symbiotic relationship with a few unsavory details. I hope he doesn't get hurt. It is hard being honest with yourself sometimes. Lies like to live in my pocket.

g2g